We can all be affected by a lack of confidence and low self-esteem at different times in our lives, but it only usually becomes a problem when it starts to impact on us regularly.
The meaning of low self esteem
Self-Esteem is the opinion that we have of ourselves. When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positively about ourselves and life in general. We are better able to deal with the ups and downs.
Low self-esteem results in us seeing ourselves and life in general in a negative, critical light. We feel more overwhelmed by life and less able to cope with its challenges.
It often begins in childhood. During childhood we receive both positive and negative messages from parents, carers, teachers, family and friends. The brain tends to hold on to negative experiences and store these up, reinforcing them as we grow up. These belief that we are not good enough then cements itself into our self-image.
Events such as bereavement and other traumas can also reinforce these feelings. Some people absorb these messages at a very deep level. Others set themselves impossibly high standards which they are unable to achieve and result in feelings of failure.
How does this affect us?
You may start to avoid social situations, refuse to try new things and avoid new challenges. Short-term avoidance, as with anxiety, may seem the best option as you do get some temporary relief. However, this avoidance tends to reinforce self-doubt and lack of confidence and builds on the belief that avoiding issues is the best way to cope.
Living with low self-esteem can be harmful to your metal health and it can lead to depression and anxiety. You may also, develop poor habits as a way of coping such as smoking, drinking, substance abuse etc.
Self Help For Confidence Issues and Low Self-Esteem
It is important to realise that you do not have to put up with having little confidence and low self-esteem. It may have seemed ‘normal’ to you for so long that you think that you just have to live with it.
You may need professional help to develop your own inner strategies to establish a better self-image. Therapy does not have to be expensive, but it is important that you find the right person. A good therapist will offer you a free consultation and will talk you through what is needed and how they can help you. The most important component in therapy is rapport with the therapist.
How Can I Help You?
Using Emotional Freedom Techniques aka Tapping and/or Hypnotherapy we can work together to remove the negative emotions, eliminate the poor self-beliefs and re-frame the beliefs that were formed at this time. We will also, consider the role of forgiveness and self-compassion in the healing process.
Often, the roots which started in childhood were reinforced throughout life. This creates neural pathways in the brain and coping mechanisms which no longer serve. Once we have identified the early events that caused this reaction, we use EFT and Hypnotherapy to eliminate the limiting beliefs that have been formed, and create new positive responses. You will learn tools that you can use independently to help yourself and your family in the future.
The process can be extremely quick when you consider that we are dealing with things that you have likely carried with you for decades.